Spellcheck

So....somehow I keep being involved with the process here for hiring new staff. This has involved coming up with job descriptions, questions for written tests and oral interviews, being part of the interview committees and a test proctor, and now--it meant reading through a stack of 30+ CV's that were submitted by people applying for two open translator positions (for those of you who speak American, a "CV" is a curriculum vitae, a document similar to our resumes, although a CV is usually longer and includes personal info--height, weight, marital status, hobbies--and complete work and education histories).
Trying to find the best wording to present yourself well can be tricky for anyone writing a CV or resume, and this becomes even more of an issue when you are writing one in a second language. I know if I tried to apply for a job in Khmer, things would not be pretty. That said, the accidental errors that applicants make and some of their word choices on their CV's are still pretty amusing. So, for a smile or two, here are some real live quotes from our recent batch of applicants:

“I have a good understanding about Abuse and other relevant tasks”
“Other skills: Driving—motorbike (brilliantly)”
“Completed the psychology course at Institute of European Onion”
“English skills: understanding the comprehension, speaking skill, and good writhing”
“I am familiar with using English as a professional and naive English Speaker”
“REFEREES: available upon request”
“Hobbies: Reading, Traveling, Searching on the internet, and all kinds of spots”
“Interpersonal skills: Honest, hard working, independent, communicative, friendly, and strict.”
“I hereby wish to make formal application for the position of a translator. I am tremulously optimistic that my qualification, skill, experience, and commitment person. I am not qualified candidate, but also energetic person and willing to do every wholeheartedly. In additional to my working experiences, I hold good and strong...ability to communicate with people at all levels, and under any pressure, and can be flexible enough depend on reality. I am good ply. With the above mentioned qualifications, I strongly believe that I am suitable and qualified for the position.”
“I’ve seen your recruitment posted on bongthom website. For this reason, I have sensitively found myself loveable and well-qualified”
“I was pleasant because of my students could understand what I taught”
“Additional skills: Successfully completed in Guiding Map to be the Lustrous Outstanding Leader”